Thinking of you
by ElizabethlovesEdward
Summary: I put every thing back into my purse set it on the table and looked at the pain-killers and the gun i'd gotten from jakes garage I brought them with me to the Cullens house. 1, because I cant take living without him by my side. 2. I wanted to die HERE.
1. Thinking of you

**Prologue**

'See you next week dad' I called

'Izzy' I told him to start calling me izzy. Bella reminded me to much of the way Edwa- _he_ had said it. 'Are you sure I can stay here.'

'It's okay…but thanks. I'll miss you.' what he didn't know won't hurt him…

'I'll miss you too…I love ya kid.' Wow Charlie…sharing…feelings? Wow!!

'I love you to daddy.' _I'm sorry_ I added mentally.

'Well...uh... Bye' He gave me a kiss on my forehead and a hug.

'bye daddy.' He walked out the door.

Charlie and a few friends are going fishing again, and they were going to make it a 5-day trip out of it, per my suggestion. I suggested such for a reason. So I could be a two year old and wallow over Edwards' absence.

I decided I would go to the store and buy a giant tub of rocky road ice cream, and the go get a x-large pizza from Marco's, then I would go to the Cullen house with said items. And guess what im bringing a giant bag of…makeup…and many other things like nail polish Straightener and curling iron etc. I'm going to make myself as beautiful as possible.

**(A/N. Confused? don't worry you'll see why in a minute…read on.)**

2 hours later

I grabbed my purse, which was so full I couldn't even close it, and walked out the door. Just my luck its raining but it doesn't matter. I started walking. I couldn't, no wouldn't is more like it, drive my truck. Why? It reminds me of Edward to much. Since the cruiser was gone I had to walk in the rain, but did I care? No. it's refreshing… and maybe the walk will give me time to talk myself out of this stupid plan.

2 more hours later

After I got here I changed into the extra clothes I brought did my make up and styled my hair the way I thought _he_- No! his name is Edward, EDWARD!!! I will call him by his name, its EDWARD!!- would have, maybe, liked.

(A/N: The hair style is in my profile normally I don't put things for stories in my profile but I thought it was really cute check it out…read on…)

I put every thing back into my purse set it on the table and looked at the pain-killers (key word killers) I brought with me. and Charlie's gun I decided I didn't want to make a mess so I grabbed the bottle and popped nine in my mouth. It would all be over soon I thought, as three minutes later I started feeling drowsy… Or so I thought.

A/N: Cliffy.

Well? What did you think.

please review?


	2. please wakep! please

READ THERE IS A PREVIEW OF THE NEXT CHAPTER IN THIS NOTE!

Hello everyone, this is an author's note sadly.

Bella's hairstyle from Chapter 1: Thinking of you

Is on my profile.

Now I wont post author's notes to much.

This will probably be the only one in this story

just because I am aware that my awesome viewers like you

want to read the story not some authors note.

But If I do post them please read them they are important

Now, the reason for this authors note;

If I get 10 reviews I will update tomorrow

If I get 12 reviews I will update later TONIGHT!!

Seeing as how I have the next 3 chapters done.

So review

And for the people who take time to read and review this authors not will notice there is a preview of the next chapter.

Whose P.O.V. is this? The first person to tell me the who says this can be a character later in this story

I'll pm you and tell you if you got and youll need to tell me your name or make up one it doesn't matter

youll need to tell me what you want this person to look like and what her power should be! YES SHE IS A VAMPIRE

well here you go enjoy

'Bella! Bella! Dammit wake up!! I know...I know that you feel lied to and i know you dont think my family loves you and you feel betrayed and no one is there for you anymore but you are so wrong. You are the best thing that has ever happened to this family and if anyone belongs in it its you! Without you i knew that this family would basically cease to exist and fall apart! without you now this family IS broken! What would Carlisle and esme especially think when she finds out no one has to them that there daughter has tried to kill herself because of her son! Please wake up Bella! Dont let your emotions get the best of your please!' I said passionately as i sobbed over her body.

thanks for reviewing C:


	3. His mistake your life

'Bella! Bella! Dammit wake up!! I know...I know that you feel lied to and i know you don't think my family loves you and you feel betrayed and no one is there for you anymore but you are so wrong. You are the best thing that has ever happened to this family and if anyone belongs in it its you! Without you this family would basically cease to exist and fall apart! without you now this family IS broken! What would Carlisle and Esme especially think when she finds out she's lost another kid; that there daughter has tried to kill herself because of her son! Please wake up Bella! Don't let your emotions get the best of you please!' I said passionately as i sobbed over her body. Then my 'sister' knelt down and started talking with as much feeling as I did.

'Bella I…you… cant do this. Please just wake up. I know you love Edward, without _my_ husband I would probably want to kill myself to…but its not the answer. You promised him you wouldn't _'do anything reckless or stupid'_ what would he think if he were here right now. Huh!? He would feel so guilty it… Just please wake up…don't do this to yourself! Do not pay for his mistake with your life! He loves you Bells and so does this whole family. if you don't wake up we will be without a brother because he will kill himself too!!'

Bella wasn't moving or even acknowledging anything we said…she tried again

'Bella you have to wake up…you do realize you are hurting Charlie right now, and Renée even if they don't know what you've done yet…we heard about Harry Clearwater, your fathers friend if I'm not mistaken, if he finds out that you died…he's not that young Bella…and the odds are favorable…he could have a he-heart attack. Don't do this! Please just wake up!! Don't let him do this to you Bella.' She said, and then quieter, probably thinking I couldn't hear 'not my sister' Wow!! _Rosalie_…_stuttered_, and I can feel love for Bella radiating off of her.

'Rosa-'

'One word of this Jasper and…your dead…again' I laughed. _That's the Rosalie I know and love._

'Jazz! Look!' I looked down and saw Bella starting to stir…

B p.o.v

I, unfortunately, heard everything they said. The pills were starting to take affect but I regained consciousness long enough to look up and see the two most unlikely people… Rosalie and Jasper…and then I knew I was dead because there is no- absolutely no way Rosalie would ever smile at me and look at me as if I…

That thought was lost as I sank into unconsciousness…again…

BY THE WAY Congratulations' to Chloey24, edwardlovinmom, BB, and rialekailyn'08 YOU ALL GET TO BE IN MY STORY.

Well what did you think? I know its short but I said 10 reviews and I only got 9. This time here I would like 11 so I can have an even 20. Do this for me and ill update tonight!!


	4. Code Blue!

_Hello everyone, this is my last author's note._

_But If I do post them, please read them, they are important_

_Now the reason for this authors note; _

**HOW SHOULD I BRING EDWARD INTO THE STORY?**

_Bella's hairstyle from Chapter 1: Thinking of you Is on my profile_

_Now, the reason for this authors note;_

_If I get 20 reviews I will update TODAY_

__

** I FEEL BAD ABOUT THE PREVIEW AT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER;**

**IT MADE ME CRY!!**

_So review_

_And for the people who take time to read and review this author's note will notice there is a preview of the next chapter._

**I didn't know where I was. all I knew was that I was being carried some where. **

**I heard Rosalie and Jasper talking to some one.**

'**Oh no…what has she done?' Is that…no he wouldn't be here.**

'**She has overdosed' Rosalie said, as if someone asked what color her hair was.**

'**I know that Rosalie! It was a rhetorical question…oh well' sigh 'lets get her hooked up to the monitors…and maybe we'll try pumping her stomach in about 3 hours.' I was right! It's Carlisle!! Wait pump my--…don't they have to--…aww man!! **

**I must have fallen asleep for about an hour because I woke from a dreamless state and suddenly couldn't breathe. The heart monitor was going crazy. It was going fast then slow, fast then slow and then I couldn't hear anything. **

**Third person p.o.v.**

'**Code Blue! Isabella's room now!' screamed Carlisle. **_My poor daughter _**he thought**

**Charge to 250…clear' still no response.**


	5. Charge to 150! Clear!

**IF I DO NOT GET UP TO 45 REVIEWS I WILL NOT UPDATE FOR A WHILE AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE EDWARD IN THIS STORY AGAIN (THAT'S RIGHT I WENT THERE!!!) THIS IS A LONGER CHAPTER SO I DESERVE IT! please**

**OH AND I RE-EDITED THIS CHAPTER AND MADE IT LONGER!!**

I didn't know where I was. all I knew was that I was being carried some where.

I heard Rosalie and Jasper talking to some one.

'Oh no…what has she done?' Is that…no he wouldn't be here.

'She has overdosed' Rosalie said, as if someone asked what color her hair was.

'I know that Rosalie! It was a rhetorical question…oh well' sigh 'lets get her hooked up to the monitors…and maybe we'll try pumping her stomach in about 3 hours.' I was right! It's Carlisle!! Wait pump my--…don't they have to--…aww man!!

I must have fallen asleep for about an hour because I woke from a dreamless state and suddenly couldn't breathe. The heart monitor was going crazy. It was going fast then slow, fast then slow and then I couldn't even hear anything except a flat beeping noise. Wait doesn't that mean…? _Oh no_.

Third person p.o.v.

'Code Blue! Isabella's room now!' screamed Carlisle. _My poor daughter _he thought

'Charge to 150…clear' still no response

_Oh no!_ Alice and the family crashed into the room

'Charge to 150…" I said hurriedly as I quickly lathered the 'shockers' (heh sorry couldn't resist) with a liquid from the clear bottle and placed them on her chest.

'Clear!' _Boom_

'Release!' Uh Oh!! No heartbeat

'Charge to 250,' I said as I positioned the handles on her chest once more.

'Release.' Beep…beep…beep.

'Yes!' Just then Alice's face went blank signaling a vision was coming, and as per usual, jasper was by her side holding her soothingly.

Alice let out a gasp and started sobbing.

'Carlisle it wa…it was s-s-so bad. Call Edward now!!! Tell him to get his ass back here right now!!'

'Rose can you?' I asked. She smiled the cross between evil and angelic smile that only Rosalie can.

'It would be my pleasure.' She answered flashing her teeth and literally skipped off to get the phone.

'I thought we weren't calling him…Alice?' I looked to Alice who was still sobbing

'S-s-she's going to flatline THREE more times, but she'll be okay, you'll make her okay Carlisle'

'Then why are you so worried?' I asked, naturally confused. _If Bella will be okay then what has her so upset? _Alice looked to Emmet, Esme and Jasper, who all looked as confused as I was and looked to Bella and started sobbing again. Jasper tried to hug her but she moved out of his arms and ran to Bella's side, got up on the bed and hugged her around the waist while laying down next to her.

She let out a strangled cry, and answered my question but it was muffled so I couldn't understand anything she said. I walked to her side and placed a hand on her back.

'What is it Alice? What's going to happen?' I asked calmly, though inside I was a wreck. She sniffed and sat up.

'I'll explain when he gets here.' then we heard…

'Dammitt! Edward why would i lie about something like this!' Rosalie…'Just get down here now!........No....I AM NOT!!'

I walked out to the hallway and motioned for the phone. She huffed and gave me the phone and walked…well stormed out would be a better turn muttering curses under her breath…and back into the room.

I heard Edward sobbing. 'Edward?' I asked

'Carlisle? Please…please tell me Rose is lying! _My_ Bella would never do such a horrible thing…would she?' he pleaded.

'Edward I…' I hesitated, and he took this as an answer and started sobbing again,

'I'll be there in 8 minutes.' he said and then I got the dial tone. I hung up and went back into the room. They all looked at me…

'He'll be here in about five minutes now.' I said and noticed Alice was still clinging to Bella.

'Alice you need to move.'

'Carlisle please just until he gets here?' I didn't answer because she already new it.

'Carlisle? I heard my 'son' call out

I looked to the door and immediately every one stood up to hug him. He let them but wasn't paying attention, for he was staring at my third daughter.

'What have I done?' He asked.

'Alice what went wrong with your vis-'

'Carlisle get the paddles you have 4 seconds' I did as she told and sure enough she flat lined again.

Edward sobbed and ran over to her screaming for her to wake up. Emmett moved him out of the way, and once again the nurses ran in screaming;

'Code Blue!'

_Here we go_, I thought I was so worried I could have been sobbing.

'Charge to 150…" I said hurriedly as I quickly lathered the paddles with the liquid from the clear bottle and placed them on her chest…again.

'Clear!' _Boom_

'Release!' Once again No heartbeat

'Charge to 250,' I said as I positioned the handles on her chest once more.

'Clear' _Boom_

'Release.'

'Charge to 275'

'Clear!!!' _Boom_

'Release' Nothing wait.

Boom…Boom…Beep…beep…beep.

Yes!!

'Alice' Jasper asked I looked, as did everyone else, to see her still sobbing.

'Now then what went on in your vision Alice?' Esme' asked.

'W-well I…I s-s-saw' Edward ran over to her knelt down in front of her and grabbed her hands

'What did you see Alice…please'

'Well I-I …S-s-she's going to flatline two more times, but she'll be okay.'

'We know this Alice.'

'…A-a-and I saw h-her flatline one more time after that' she struggled to get it out, and I automatically knew what was going to happen and by the look on her face so did Esme

'And?' Emmett asked, staring at his little sister.

'And…Carlisle couldn't…get h-her…h-h-heart to…' She paused and broke down shaking and dry sobbing.

Esme' and I started sobbing too while the others looked confused. I answered for her and when I did everyone sobbed with us. Edward walked over to hold Bella's hand.

'I wont be able to get her heart to restart…and if I cant s- s-she'll d-die…'

Everything seemed to happen simultaneously.

'WHAT!!' Emmett and Jasper

'NO!!' Edward screamed shaking and sobbing

'NOT MY SISTER!!' Rosalie. We heard a crack and Esme' and I turned and saw Edward on the ground with Rosalie punching him.

'YOU!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!' punch 'YOU MADE US LEAVE' punch 'YOU DID THIS TO HER' punch, punch 'SHE WILL DIE BECAUSE' punch 'OF' punch, punch 'YOU!!' punch, punch, punch.

'Rosalie!!' Esme' screamed 'Get off him!!' Emmett ran over and picked her up. I looked around for Edward but he wasn't here, and then I looked out the window and saw he was standing on the top of the hill staring at the sunset.

'Edward…please come with me…you need to get back in there. She needs you now more then ever'

'Rosalie is right Carlisle it is my fault.'

'That's in the past.'

'She is my future.' He looked down and his golden eyes filled with tears that would never be shed.

'Edward you can make this right.'

'I…I can't do it Carlisle she- I can't'

I grabbed his chin roughly and made him look in my eyes.

'You listen to me!! You can!! I know you can just try.'

'I' He was cut off by a scream

'EEEEDDDDWWWWWAAAARDDD HELP!!' We listened while running.

'Edward…' My son's name was just a whisper in the wind but we heard it which made Edward and I run that much faster And then…

_BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeePBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep BeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeepBeep_


	6. LONG WAY AWAY

**CONCERNING CHAPTER 5**

I Redid CHAPTER 5 since I was having writers block So go back and read it

**IT'S A LOT LONGER AND HAS LESS SPELLING ERRORS!!!!**

Thanks Tina & Lizzy


	7. Letters of the heart

WARNING: EXTREMLY SAD CHAPTER!! MY EDITER CRIED WHILE READING THIS ONE

A.N./ I don't own the things I don't own :)

We had barely gotten there in time and there were only two nurses in the room.

'Charge to 150...CLEAR!!' _Boom_

_Beep...beep..._

'Okay every one why don't you go home...I can handle things here for a while.' Esme' Jasper Rose and Emmett all nodded and left and Alice and Edward stayed behind.

'Can you guys excuse us me a moment?' I asked. I always take five to ten minutes everyday to talk to my patients.

'Sure Carlisle...we'll be in the hall...' Alice said while standing up.

Edward just looked at me then Bella and back at the ground and walked out. Alice shadowing his footsteps.

'Bella what have you done to yourself. You said you'd stay out of trouble and keep yourself safe!!' and then I started talking to myself more then her.

'It is the chain that you're dragging That was once your relief That's like everything is born to die And the birth of a doubt that was once your belief  
Is drowning in the tears that you cry. that is my favorite poem and sadly it describes your perfectly

I walked around the bed to were the chairs that were once occupied by my son and daughter were, kissed Bella's forehead and sat down on it taking her hand.

'Bella please...My son loves you, don't...don't do this to him, to us...to yourself. Please _please_ wa-' I was cut off by seeing Edward standing in the doorway.

'May I have a moment with her?' I nodded but didn't say anything as I left, I only clapped him on the shoulder.

'Carlisle wait can you come back in here please?' Edward inquired.

I walked back into the room and said 'Is there something you need.?'

'Carlisle what is that' he asked and pointed to two pieces of paper we hadn't noticed that was sticking out of her Brassiere. I picked it up, unfolding the first paper while Edward called the rest of the family to come back into the room.

I didn't want to read it until I read it for the first time to my family because I had a feeling I would break down if I did.

'What is it?' Jasper asked...

'It looks like a letter...'I responded

'Well...read it!!'

'Okay...' And I started to read Isabella's letter having absolutely no idea that it would change our lives forever...

_My Dearest Emily,_

_ I miss you. Over the years you have become my vey best friend, my sister. I have never considered suicide...I always believed it was for people who weren't strong enough to deal with there problems. I realize now that they were very smart people. They knew they couldn't live without the one they love. Anyway you will receive this letter at my passing. I'm going to give you my house, I have forgotten to inform you that I bought a house shortly after some people I have grown to love decided it was time to move on. I know you don't want to live with your foster parents anymore so you can live in my home with all it's furniture and everything. Although Gilly may want to live in there with you. I hope you will remember me._

_Forgive me,_

_Isabella Marie Swan_

When I was finished I had tears that would never be shed in my eyes. I looked up and everyone looked the same as I did.

'There is one more.' I said. 'We'll read it next time for now lets go home we have something I believe we need to discuss.' With that we walked out the door

**Three days later (a lot can happen in three days. **hint hint** But it's not what you think...Oh and none of the Cullen's have seen her for three days because she was supposed to go to surgery.) **

'Doctor Calargian?' I asked as my family and I walked in behind me.

'Oh! Doctor Cullen is there something I can do for you' Calargian is one of my other favorite doctors in that she isn't romantically interested in me.

'Yes is a patient by the name of Isabella Swan out of surgery yet.'

'Yes actually and we seem to have found something that I must talk to you about when I am finshed with my next patient... it is of the highest importance'

'Sure thing I'll see you in 20 minutes then.'

'Sure Doctor Cullen...I'll see you then' and she walked away. All of the sudden I heard a light growl. I turned to see it was Esme'.

'She's married Darling.' I responded.

'oops' giggled Esme'

'Lets go' We walked into her recovery room and sat down or stood next to her.

'Shall we read the next letter then?' Rosalie inquired.

I said we will and looked at the envelope it was addressed to one Gillian Owens. I asked if anyone knew who this person is and no one responded except Alice...of course.'

'Gillian is Bella's Half sister because Charlie married Ava Owens'Alice said

'Edward...' I asked in my mind He looked up but didn't lift his head. 'Do you want me to read this letter?' I looked back at him Edward and he looked lifeless, but he nodded, signaling It was okay to continue on to the next letter.

'_My dearest Gillian_,' I read

_ Sometimes I feel like there's a hole inside of me, an emptiness that at times seems to burn. I think if you lifted my heart to your ear, you could probably hear the ocean. The moon tonight, there's a circle around it. Sign of trouble not far behind. I have this dream of being whole. Of not going to sleep each night, wanting. But still sometimes, when the wind is warm or the crickets sing... I dream of a love that even time will lie down and be still for. I just want someone to love me. I want to be seen. I don't know. Maybe I had my happiness. I don't want to believe it but, there is no man, Gilly. Only that moon. And so I ask you, my dear sister... Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart? Was it our joined hands that finally made me feel as though someone cared? I'd like to think so. Tell me have you ever put your arms out and spun really, really fast? I know you haven't experienced it yet but that's what love is like. It makes your heart race. It turns the world upside down. But if you're not careful, if you don't keep your eyes on something still, you can lose your balance. You can't see what's happening to the people around you. You can't see that you're about to fall. _

_ I read this in a hand written not on a book once 'It's going down where no one can see It's a sad...sad sight The feeling just gets stronger when I see you, I just put on a smile I try to cover it up But I can't take it too much longer so I'll give in to my temptations, and give into the light.' Since then it has become my favorite book. I don't know where that came from. I don't know a lot of things. I don't even know myself anymore...But there are some things I know for certain: always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder, keep rosemary by your garden gate, plant lavender for luck, and fall in love whenever you can._

_I will always be your guardian angel as you so called me that one time in California when I saved you from the one guy who was rather drunk. Anyway I gave my house to Emily but told her you would probably want to live there too... _

_Well that's it...You are my sister and my best friend and I love you...I'm not trying to hurt you but I can't do this anymore. I hope you will remember me._

_Forgive me,_

_Isabella Marie Sw-'_

'Doctor Cullen?' Doctor Calargian asked.

'An' I finished

'Yes let's step outside' I pointedly looked at my children telling them silently to not eavesdrop and they looked down.

--

'Would you like to have a seat'

'Oh! It's quite all right. This will only take a moment.'

'Okay then please proceed.'

'Yes well...I'm afraid we found some...issues with Isabella's......

**Cliffy!!! Oh I am evil aren't I!! 45 reviews and you'll get a longer chapter than this 1!!!!**


	8. Chapter 9

**Previously on thinking of you : **

**'Would you like to have a seat'**

**'Oh! It's quite all right. This will only take a moment.'**

**'Okay then please proceed.'**

**'Yes well...I'm afraid we found some...issues with Isabella's......**

Heart.' The woman before me said. 'I'm afraid she has cancer, Dr. Cullen. . .'

'W-What? What stage?' I inquirerd

'I'm very sorry Dr. but this is untreatable. She is at an active level 4. . .Terminal.'

'Are you sure have you done any tests? How many? How long does she have? Have yo-' Dr. callargian cut my rambling off.

'We have done tests. She has all the symptoms'

'Pain, Nausea, Vomiting, tiredness, loss of appetite, bowel or bladder problems, breathlessness, ascites, which as you know is a build up of fluid in her stomach,

sleep disturbances and her ankles are a little swollen.'

'I'm sorry doctor ill give you some time with her.'

Thats when i decided. . .

**SORRY GUYS THIS IS ONLY A PREVIEW. I GET 56 REVIEWS AND I'LL UPDATE TOMORROW**


	9. Somebody help me

**I'M SO SORRY!!**

**I LOVE THIS STORY BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO CONTINUE IT :(**

**IF ANYONE CAN GIVE ME SOME IDEAS (THAT I CHOOSE FOR THIS STORY) YOU WILL BECOME THE NEXT NEWBORN/REGULAR VAMPIRE OR WHATEVER MYTHICAL CREATURE/HUMAN YOU WANT.**

**OTHERWISE I'M AFRAID THIS STORY MAY BE DELETED OR BE ON HIATUS**

**SO PLEASE LEAVE SUGGESTIONS IN MY COMMENT BOX.. THANKS**

**Love **

**Elizebeth**


	10. Possibly Pulling the plug CPOV

_**JUST RE-WROTE THIS CHAPTER PLEASE RE-READ IT!**_

**Previously on thinking of you : **

**'Would you like to have a seat'**

**'Oh! It's quite all right. This will only take a moment.'**

**'Okay then please proceed.'**

**'Yes well...I'm afraid we found some...issues with Isabella's...**

Heart.' The woman before me said. 'I'm afraid she has cancer, Dr. Cullen. . .'

'W-What? What stage?' I inquired

'I'm very sorry Dr. but this is untreatable. She is at an active level 4. . .Terminal.'

'Are you sure have you done any tests? How many? How long does she have? Have yo-' Dr. Calargian cut my rambling off.

'We have done tests. She has several of the symptoms'

'Irregular heart beat Arrhythmias Heart failure Pleural pericardial pain Dyspnea Angina Emobolic phenomena Cachexia Fainting…..shes had this long before she even moved to Forks…..'

'I'm sorry doctor ill give you some time with her.'

That's when i decided I'd do everything in _**MY**_ power to keep her alive. And he OF COURSE heard that so..cue Edward

3..2..1

'WHAT THE HELL CARLISLE! WE CANT CHANGE HER! SHE WILL NOT BE DAMNED TO AN ETERNITY OF NIGHT! SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE NORAMAL. HAVE A NOR-'

'THATS ENOUGH' I spoke outraged at the thought that HE believed HE was selfish.

'SHE'S NOT GOING TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE. THAT WENT AWAY AS _**SOON**_AS SHE MET THIS FAMILY. LOOK IN THERE EDWARD' I said referring to Bella's room.

'DO YOU SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL YOUNG WOMAN IN THERE?' He started dry-sobbing and i grabbed his chin roughly so i could see his face.

'SHE'S DYING EDWARD! THOSE MACHINES IN THERE ARE ALL THATS KEEPING HER ALIVE.

'She won't have a life if we don't change her.' I said so only he could hear me.

'She's got nothing to loose.' He pulled away

'I cannot be without her, but I will not destroy her soul.'

'SEE! You do have a soul! If you care so much about hers then you have one to!

'Edward for once listen to me. Swallow your pride and do what you KNOW in your heart is right.' He still looked confused and hurt. _**Fine**_, I thought, _**Lets make this easy for him.**_

'Okay. We're having a family meeting in one hour. You decide what you want be then.' He nodded and had a small peaceful smile unfortunately that smile wouldn't be present long.

'You have one hour Edward. As i said. But if you choose not to change her...Then I'm pulling the plug.' He started shaking again.

'I'm sorry Edward. I love you my son but i'm not going to have her go through unnecessary pain just to die anyway. You have an hour. Choose right.' With that I clapped him on the back and walked out.

'CARLISLE!' I ignored him calling my name.

It had to be done.

It _**will**_ be done

**Its short i know. **


	11. Things r changing & Not for the better

About a half an hour had passed after I had called everyone to come home, and I had been pacing back in forth in my office the entire time. My thoughts solely of my newest daughter, her condition, and how frail and lifeless she looked. Suddenly, interrupting my thoughts, I noticed a soft knock sounding from the door. Had I not been a vampire, I probably wouldn't have heard it. From its owners scent, I knew it immediately to be Esme'.

'Come in.' I whispered. I kept pacing until I felt a gentle, loving hand touch my shoulder. I turned around, stared into her eyes for awhile. _**So Beautiful. **_I thought, while sweeping her up in my arms walking over to the couch and sitting down with her snuggled up against my chest.

That was when she noticed I was shaking.

'What's wrong, Love?' Her hand came up a touched my cheek lightly I looked down at her smiling softly, watching her search my eyes for any signs of distress, with her own hypnotizing orbs.

I sighed, kissed her forehead, and replied- 'It's the right thing isn't it? Changing her or. . .or pulling the plug? It has to be the right thing. Bella is our daughter too. You know I wouldn't wish or want pain for anyone when I can prevent it, and I wont allow her to go through all this. . .suffering. . If she wont even live to see that it was for a reason. So this isn't wrong. . Is it?'

I looked down to gauge her reaction, but as soon as I did, I felt her lean up and press her amazingly soft lips to mine for and pull away. I smiled down at her for a moment or two, and when I did her eyes, that were staring back at my were sparkling and shining like sun. I grabbed her face in my hands brought her lips back to mine, and felt her hand press against my cheek, rubbing it lightly. I pulled away, but pressed my forehead against hers. We were quiet for awhile, just staring into the others eyes no words needed to be spoken. We were saying it all without really saying anything.

And then Rosalie, stopped outside the door, knocked as softly as Esme had but not opening the door, and said in the kindest voice I had ever heard her use, 'He's here. We'll wait for you downstairs in the dinning room.'

I looked back to Esme, and noticed that she too had venom tears in her eyes. And for once, in all my existence of being this creature of the night that I am, I wished that we were able to cry.

Just cry ourselves to sleep. Or cry until there were no tears left. Just one time. Esme' stood up then, grasped my hand, leaned down to where I was sitting, kissed my lips quickly and said that we should go.

I too stood up and we walked downstairs hand in hand, waiting for the events that would either come as Isabella's rise or. . . Her downfall. And it relied solely on my children, as me and Esme' were not going to sway our children's decisions by voicing our thoughts until the end, even though they all probably know what we decided.

We walked together to the dining room, but stopped in the doorway as the sight before me broke our hearts.

Rosalie had her head on Emmet's shoulder, looking like she was about to cry, but trying her absolute hardest not to.

Emmet had his head resting on Rosalie's, while rubbing soothing circles on her hand, looking like he too had wanted to cry, but was trying to be strong for everyone else.

Jasper who had been trying to calm everyone down gave up and let his despair as well as everyone else's wash over him, and he hugged Alice closer to his chest and began trembling.

Alice had her hands pulling her hair with her face buried in Jasper's chest, and was dry sobbing, and shaking violently.

-I was surprised that she hadn't had a vision and seen the outcome, but then someone probably hasn't made a decision.

And Edward. . .Well Edward was Edward. Meaning he was wallowing in self despair and pity yet to o stubborn and cowardly to do anything about that.

-And since I knew he was listening I threw that in there for his benefit. Sure enough a light growl came from his chest.

I grabbed up Esme's hand and we walked to the head of the table. Esme' sat down while I remained standing. It was then I realized that my children nor my darling Esme' knew about Bella's cancer.

'I know this is something that some of us do not want and others wanted to put off for a time that Isabella could be here to discuss it with us. However I am sorry to tell you that there is no time. She has Cancer of the Heart. And it kills me to say that this is untreatable. She is at an active level 4. . . And that's Terminal. Dr. Calargian has put Bella in an induced coma.

-They all gasp-

'A temporary coma is sometimes deliberately induced (using drugs) to reduce swelling of the brain after injury. It may also be induced to break the constant overwhelming immune strain being exerted on the body by a severe viral infection, or, by a host of illness which have resulted in extreme chronic illness.

'But Bella is still unresponsive. And I don't want her to be in pain for the rest of her life.

'So. She changes into one of us. To be with us forever. And the family will be complete. . ? Or I will take her off the machines and we have much certainty that she will not live past a few minutes and they shall be the most painful heart-wrenching scene to witness. Imagine what it would be like if we had to burn to alive forever.' I looked around at my children's faces. 'And we had to feel every second of it. It'll be worse for her.'

Then to Esme' who looked absolutely horrified heartbroken depressed devastated and scared all at the same time. I reached down to grab her hand. And she stood at my side while we prepared to make the hardest decision we were faced with for a long time.

I looked to my eldest son. 'Edward?'

He paused 'I don't have an answer just yet.'

I turned then to Alice.

She smiled. 'Yes. She is my sister. And now we can be a family again.'

I looked to Jasper. He looked to Edward and then he looked down

* "_I vote "yes". It would be nice not wanting to kill her all the time_"

I looked to Rosalie, who now had her head down looking at the table. She stood walked over to where Edward was sitting and put her hand on his shoulder. She then looked at everyone.

* "_No. I don't mean that I have any aversion to her as a sister. It's just that… this is not the life I would have chosen for myself and I wish there had been someone there to vote no for me."_

Edward sighed in relief.

'Emmet?' I looked at him puzzled. I thought he and alice's would answers would be definite. But as I saw him, sitting there, looking at his beautiful wife, whose eyes were heartbroken. He had come to a decision. Rose looked at him for a moment and leaned in and whispered something so low we couldn't hear just what it was and sat back in her chair. His eyes changed. With a new emotion in those golden eyes of his. He stood up grabbed Rose by the hand and with one last look at her he looked to all of Us and said;

'I'm so sorry -

**A/N: CLIFFY! I already have the next chapter written and uploaded. So I get more then 5 more reviews and I will update before the night is over! AND U WILL SEE WHO EMMET IS SAYING SORRY TO! TRUST ME ITS NOT WHAT U THINK. OR IS IT? You'll have to wait and see. Cliffy! Did this scene make you cry 2 **


	12. Whose next!

HEY GUYS ITS TINA! AND HERE'S THE AUTHOR OF THE STORY-DRUM ROLL!

LIZZY!

WOOT WOOT!

Sorry guys I think Tina is having a psychological break-down. Lolz. So here it is- THINKING OF YOU the next chapter!

'EMMETT WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!' He roared.

I was shocked to say the least. He was usually the peace-keeper of the family. Esme looked down. And jasper and alice just hugged each other.

I stood up and walked out of the room to see the Poor squirt and apologize. Well…to her sleeping figure anyway.

**THAT'S ALL YOU GET UNTIL I GET 5 MORE REVIEWS!**

**AND THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE TWICE AS LONG AS THE LAST!**

**PS TOMMOROW IS LIZZY'S BIRTHDAY PLEASE GIVE XTRA REVEWS!**

**THX-3 TINA!**


	13. Be w the cullen boys as main character?

Please come up with more ideas!

And check out thinking of you

Im thinking of making and Alice/Bella story. I already have one under construction. 

**AND TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY SO PLEASE GIVE ME LOTS OF REVIEWS AND IF I LIKE YOUR IDEA YOU'LL BE IN MY STORY!_**

**AND WHO KNOWS U MAY EVEN END UP WITH ANY ONE OF THE TWILIGHT CHARACTERS!**

**JUST GIVE ME LOTS OF REVIEWS AND EMAILS. I WILL REPLY TO THEM ALL AND**

**AT THE END OF EACH CHAPTER OF THE STORY YOU SUGGESTED ILL**

**SUGGEST YOUR STORIES TO MY READERS INCLUDING THE TITLE THE AUTHER AND THE SUMMARY**

**REALLY YOU'VE GOT NOTHIN TO LOSE BUT EVERYTHING TO GAIN SUCH AS MORE VIEWERS!**

**Thank you for your time.**

**3 Lizzy**


	14. Till it burns with the sun

MORE REVIEWS I SEE A FEW I LIKE ALREADY MAKE THEM DETAILED PLEASE AND U MAY HELP ME CO-WRITE IT!


	15. And cools with the moon

MORE REVIEWS TELLING ME WHETHER OR NOT I SHOULD CONTINUE THIS

I MEAN ONLY hardly any REVIEWS! SERIOUSLY GUYS!

I DONT CARE WHETHER OR NOT THEY ARE GOOD OR BAD (lol though i prefer good ones!lmao)

But if idont get more reviews I cant continue this story. So please, please, please REFER YOUR FRIENDS AND ILL COMMENT YOUR STORIES


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